Encouragement Through Speaking Out

Can I just say that infertility SUCKS! I have never posted publicly about the fact that Josue and I are struggling with infertility. I have been stressed and emotional about it more than normal this past month. I am sure it has something to do with my turning 25 years old this thursday, the new year arriving, and mostly the fact that This February will be 2 years of trying to conceive. After much thought, I made the decision to put it out there for the world to see and as a result I will grow closer to God and feel peace in my soul. So lets test that theory out shall we? 

You have heard the saying "if you build it they will come" and now I feel like God is saying "if you post it I will release it". Infertility is something that can feel very lonely. Even with the most wonderful and understanding husband in the world, LIKE MINE, you can feel like nobody understands the hopelessness and fear and anger. So now that you all know whats going on with Josue and me, maybe the pain and loneliness at times won't feel so powerful. Maybe I just have to talk about it. Maybe thats my whole purpose in struggling with it...to encourage others to talk about their struggles even when it is uncomfortable. My hope is that this will help build my relationship with God in spite of my circumstances and that it will touch the heart of someone else struggling with "it"...ok I will use the word...infertility. 

Yuck...I don't like that word. It sounds so definite. As if nothing will change about the situation. Well, I won't stand for that! I am currently barren or infertile or whatever word you want to call it, but with Christ I know that it is in His timing and in His will. With that being said, I repeat my previous statement that infertility SUCKS! I want people to know whether Christian or not, I am human and I struggle. But in the midst of it I am becoming stronger and becoming who I am supposed to be in Christ!

This Friday, January 7th 2011, we are going to an infertility specialist. It is kinda of exciting and kind of TERRIFYING. Please be praying for us. We don't know what God's direction for us is as far as the next step, so we need Him to show us what His will is. There will be many options thrown at us I am sure! God, we need your wisdom you know that right? :) 

And to all those who don't know how they feel about God and prayer, please pray for us anyways. Step out in faith. Your prayers are the most powerful because God is just waiting to hear from you! I trust God is good and works all things together for good for those who trust in him! I am a little nervous to post this because I don't know what people will say or will feel, but I here it goes! 

P.S. I am currently reading "Empty Womb, Aching Heart" and it has really been what has inspired me to blog about my journey! I really hope the journey of infertility is almost over and the journey of motherhood can begin. Maybe this will be my last post about infertility or maybe it will be the first of many to come, either way for now I am stepping out to do my part in taking action to find out what God wants for Josue and I. 

I have many feeling and emotions and just stories to share. I hope that I can keep this up! Love you all and thank you for listening to me. I FEEL BETTER ALREADY!

Here is a link to purchase the book if you are interested in reading it. I got it on my iphone with my Kindle App.

http://www.amazon.com/Empty-Womb-Aching-Heart-Infertility/dp/0764224107/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1294210837&sr=8-1